Homeward bound

Show me what I’m supposed to do

Where to go and what is true

So when the end is just in sight

I’ll be assured I did what’s right

I know I’ve taken my own way

Fought the reasons for me to stay

But my eyes are open, and I can see

I’ve realised whats been blinding me

Homeward bound I’m trying hard

To restore the heart that I have scarred

I need your help to get me through

To see the light I must pursue

Ex 14:13

'Do not be afraid. Stand firm and you will see the deliverance the LORD will bring you today...The LORD will fight for you; you need only to be still.'

Faithful

There's distance in the air and I cannot make it leave

I wave my arms' round about me and blow with all my might

I cannot sense you close, though I know you're always here

But the comfort of you near is what I long for

When I can't feel you, I have learned to reach out just the same

When I can't hear you, I know you still hear everyword I pray

And I want you more than i want to live another day

And as I wait for you maybe I'm made more faithful

All the folly of the past, though I know it is undone

I still feel the guilty one, still trying to make it right

So I whisper soft your name, let it roll around my tounge,

knowing you're the only one who knows me

You know me

Show me how I should live this

Show me where I should walk

I count this world as loss to me

You are all I want

You are all I want

~ Brooke Fraser ~

Lent

Goodbye

Hello

Every day for forty days. Wish me luck ~

Send me a sign

A hint, O whisper

Fill me with life

'Cause I am listening

Come break the quiet

Breathe your awakening

Bring me the light

'Cause I am fading

Surround me with the rush of angels' wings

Shine Your light so I can see You

Pull me up, I need to be near You

Hold me, I need to feel loved

Can You overcome this heart that's overcome?

You sent a sign

The hint, O whisper

Human, divine

Everyone is listening

Death laid low

Quiet in the night is stirring

All around the rush of angels

O the wonder of the greatest love has come

Shine Your light so all can see it

Lifted up, 'cause the whole world needs it

Love has come, what joy to hear it

He has overcome, He has overcome

~David Crowder~

When small things hold such beauty

A family tradition of ours is to visit the flower gardens in Bhuping Palace after Christmas. Every year I top up my collection of flower pictures, my favourite things to photograph. Here is a selection of the most recent to my collection.

Flowers, in my opinion some of God's most beautiful creations ~*

Home?

So its been a long long time since I've posted anything up here. I really am not a very good blogger, and to be honest I haven't felt that I've had anything worth posting, but I guess that isn't really the point, so I've just decided to start writing and see where that takes me.....
At the moment I'm 'home', though I've decided that word 'home' has no simple or definitive meaning. Coming 'home' for me does involve a 12hr plane ride to Thailand which means I'm not here very often. I think abscence does change things. They say home is where the heart is, but I'm not too sure where my heart is. I know that once my heart, my home, was very much in Pakistan where I lived for 10 yrs. And having been stripped from that country very suddenly, I'm not sure if my heart ever fully recovered. And so I came to be in Thailand; in practical and cultural terms a much easier place to live than the land of my childhood. Yet it has never possessed my heart in the same way. I lived here for 6 yrs. A time of growing and change which wasn't particularly easy as I don't think it is for any teenager. My family is here, many friends remain or come back here as I do, there are many things that I do love about this place. But is it home?
Now I live in England, my 'home' country though in many ways much more foreign. But I have settled well and I'm happy to live there. I know its where I'm meant to be, I have a house, I have a church, I've met some truly amazing people that I am fortunate enough to call my friends. Is it home? I'm not sure yet... I hope it will become so. But at the moment I feel my heart streched across continents. Each place that I have spent my life will always have a hold of part of me. Your environment shapes you, and they are part of who I am. And yes it adds to the confusion of where exactly is my home, but I am still for everypart thankful that I have had the opportunity to live in so many different and diverse places. So am I home? I really don't know, and I guess it doesn't really matter, because I'm here now and I might aswell make the most of the sunshine :)

Hope

Sometimes all you can do is cling onto that glimmer of hope

Life isn't always uphill

Sometimes I think life is like cycling the hills of Sheffield. Up, down, up, down, very rarely straight. That’s how much of life is isn’t it? At least it seems mine is. So often it feels like the times when I’m cycling up that massive hill, and it seems I’ll never make it to the top. My legs are screaming at me to stop, I’m too tired. And that’s when I start to think what’s the point? Why am I making myself do this, why am I making myself go through this pain when I could so easily turn around and go back down? But I don’t, because that’s not the point. I have to keep going even when it’s hard, life is never an easy ride. Sometimes I do stop, I get off my bike and I look behind me. And I can see where I’ve come from, but it’s not where I’m going. I regain some energy, I get back on and I keep pedalling; because there is a goal, there is a destination. I’m going to get the top and I’m going to conquer that hill, because there’s a reward: I get to go down! I get to the top because nothing can quite compare to that freeing feeling when my body can relax and I’m sweeping downwards. And when the air is cooling my hot face, and the world is whizzing past I know it was worth it. And that’s what life is about. It’s persevering even when the task seems impossible, when your life is too messy and difficult to make sense of. Because with God’s help you will make it, and that’s the hope that you need to take grasp of. That you will overcome the difficulties, and when you do, you’ll be free to fly, gravity no longer pulling you back.

Refreshing the soul

Cycling out to the peaks with Fi yesterday was amazing. It was hard peddling up those hills, but for all the effort it was truly worth it. Just to be able to get out of the city and escape the busyness and demands of life was so refreshing. It was so beautiful, so still and quiet. I think its good sometimes to remember that God has created this world for us to see, to experience and to enjoy, and we should make the most of it.

Made me think of this song:

The Beauty of Your Peace

Your voice has stilled the raging storms

The wind and waves bow down before

Your still small voice brings hope to all

Who wait on You, we'll wait for You

To lead us to the place where You'll restore our souls

And all our earthly strivings come to cease

Take from our souls the strain and stress

And let our ordered lives confess

The beauty of Your peace

The beauty of Your peace

Bright skies will soon be overhead

We'll enter in to Heaven's rest

There'll be no death, there'll be no pain

The things of old will pass away

You'll lead us to the place where

You'll restore our souls

And all our earthly strivings come to cease

~Tim Hughes~

A hopeful one of many

I am not usually one to write stuff down or document my life, but having been inspired by my friend Fi to start journaling and now blogging, I'm giving it a try.
It may prove to be a useful way of updating my various friends spread over the world, or a place to improve my writing skills, or simply a way to voice my thoughts and feelings of everyday life. Who knows, we'll see, but I hope to keep it up.

In exactly 5 days I will atlast be able to call myself a proper medic. After having survived a year doing premed, I will now be entering the realm of medicine, which has only just dawned on me to be a rather scary prospect! Hospitals, lectures, dissection, patients, essays, exams and who knows what else is about to be thrown at me, but I am nevertheless very much looking forward to it :) I can see that having a years worth of university experience under my belt will definitely be an advantage. I have a house, friends, church, cell group, so the only newness of this yr is starting medicine, so really I have everything to be thankful for.
Since I am likely to have more spare time this yr then I will ever have again, I hope to use it to my advantage; not wasting my time watching stuff on the internet, but investing time in people, reading, painting, journaling, and spending time getting to know and understand God better.

So this is my first, a little bit about me and my new phase of life ~*