Faithful

There's distance in the air and I cannot make it leave

I wave my arms' round about me and blow with all my might

I cannot sense you close, though I know you're always here

But the comfort of you near is what I long for

When I can't feel you, I have learned to reach out just the same

When I can't hear you, I know you still hear everyword I pray

And I want you more than i want to live another day

And as I wait for you maybe I'm made more faithful

All the folly of the past, though I know it is undone

I still feel the guilty one, still trying to make it right

So I whisper soft your name, let it roll around my tounge,

knowing you're the only one who knows me

You know me

Show me how I should live this

Show me where I should walk

I count this world as loss to me

You are all I want

You are all I want

~ Brooke Fraser ~

Lent

Goodbye

Hello

Every day for forty days. Wish me luck ~

Send me a sign

A hint, O whisper

Fill me with life

'Cause I am listening

Come break the quiet

Breathe your awakening

Bring me the light

'Cause I am fading

Surround me with the rush of angels' wings

Shine Your light so I can see You

Pull me up, I need to be near You

Hold me, I need to feel loved

Can You overcome this heart that's overcome?

You sent a sign

The hint, O whisper

Human, divine

Everyone is listening

Death laid low

Quiet in the night is stirring

All around the rush of angels

O the wonder of the greatest love has come

Shine Your light so all can see it

Lifted up, 'cause the whole world needs it

Love has come, what joy to hear it

He has overcome, He has overcome

~David Crowder~

When small things hold such beauty

A family tradition of ours is to visit the flower gardens in Bhuping Palace after Christmas. Every year I top up my collection of flower pictures, my favourite things to photograph. Here is a selection of the most recent to my collection.

Flowers, in my opinion some of God's most beautiful creations ~*

Home?

So its been a long long time since I've posted anything up here. I really am not a very good blogger, and to be honest I haven't felt that I've had anything worth posting, but I guess that isn't really the point, so I've just decided to start writing and see where that takes me.....
At the moment I'm 'home', though I've decided that word 'home' has no simple or definitive meaning. Coming 'home' for me does involve a 12hr plane ride to Thailand which means I'm not here very often. I think abscence does change things. They say home is where the heart is, but I'm not too sure where my heart is. I know that once my heart, my home, was very much in Pakistan where I lived for 10 yrs. And having been stripped from that country very suddenly, I'm not sure if my heart ever fully recovered. And so I came to be in Thailand; in practical and cultural terms a much easier place to live than the land of my childhood. Yet it has never possessed my heart in the same way. I lived here for 6 yrs. A time of growing and change which wasn't particularly easy as I don't think it is for any teenager. My family is here, many friends remain or come back here as I do, there are many things that I do love about this place. But is it home?
Now I live in England, my 'home' country though in many ways much more foreign. But I have settled well and I'm happy to live there. I know its where I'm meant to be, I have a house, I have a church, I've met some truly amazing people that I am fortunate enough to call my friends. Is it home? I'm not sure yet... I hope it will become so. But at the moment I feel my heart streched across continents. Each place that I have spent my life will always have a hold of part of me. Your environment shapes you, and they are part of who I am. And yes it adds to the confusion of where exactly is my home, but I am still for everypart thankful that I have had the opportunity to live in so many different and diverse places. So am I home? I really don't know, and I guess it doesn't really matter, because I'm here now and I might aswell make the most of the sunshine :)

Hope

Sometimes all you can do is cling onto that glimmer of hope

Life isn't always uphill

Sometimes I think life is like cycling the hills of Sheffield. Up, down, up, down, very rarely straight. That’s how much of life is isn’t it? At least it seems mine is. So often it feels like the times when I’m cycling up that massive hill, and it seems I’ll never make it to the top. My legs are screaming at me to stop, I’m too tired. And that’s when I start to think what’s the point? Why am I making myself do this, why am I making myself go through this pain when I could so easily turn around and go back down? But I don’t, because that’s not the point. I have to keep going even when it’s hard, life is never an easy ride. Sometimes I do stop, I get off my bike and I look behind me. And I can see where I’ve come from, but it’s not where I’m going. I regain some energy, I get back on and I keep pedalling; because there is a goal, there is a destination. I’m going to get the top and I’m going to conquer that hill, because there’s a reward: I get to go down! I get to the top because nothing can quite compare to that freeing feeling when my body can relax and I’m sweeping downwards. And when the air is cooling my hot face, and the world is whizzing past I know it was worth it. And that’s what life is about. It’s persevering even when the task seems impossible, when your life is too messy and difficult to make sense of. Because with God’s help you will make it, and that’s the hope that you need to take grasp of. That you will overcome the difficulties, and when you do, you’ll be free to fly, gravity no longer pulling you back.